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The death of the ‘King of Pop’, Michael Jackson, caught the world by surprise and the outpouring of grief around the world reminds of that there are many ways to say goodbye.
We are unique and our relationships with each other are as distinct as we are. Janet Jackson reminded us of this when she spoke at the BET awards. “To you Michael is an icon,” she said, “to us Michael is family…”
Around the world fans have gathered to mourn their loss. They are bound together in their grief and yet each has their own way of expressing their sadness and remembering. Candles are lit, posters and CD covers held or embraced, stories shared. There is singing and dancing.
The depth of connection to the person who has passed impacts the intensity of our feelings of loss. When we lose someone with whom we have shared a deep love or a complicated relationship, traditional rituals such as visitations and memorial services might not be a sufficient outlet for our letting go. Sometimes the one who has died has left explicit instructions that they want no funeral service.
At such times we need to find our own way of saying goodbye, and it is important to do so. The ways to do this are innumerable – yours will be special and meaningful for you.
We need to have closure and to give expression to our sense of loss, our grief, in some way. In doing so we will honour the memory of what was shared and be better prepared to go on.




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